Let me guess; you are growing tired of all this snow. But the BCB is a non-excluding, come-and-go kind of blog; an admitted radical departure from RV bloggers on a quest for weather to suit their Hawaiian shirts and flip-flops. But I have a revelation that may surprise some of you... I know this because it surprises me. Here's how the story goes:
Mark: I don't have the same sense of anticipation for our annual winter exodus as in previous years.
Therapist: (Jaw drops) Ok... this is seriously out of character. What do you make of that, what's going on? What's changed?
Mark: I don't know... (pregnant pause) Maybe I'm just getting old.
Therapist: There's a copout if I ever heard one. Everyone gets old; it doesn't change who they are. You are an escapist, Mark, always have been, always will be. It defines you, and you, more than anyone I know, kinda define the term.
Mark: Okay. So maybe I'm redefining myself... maybe I'm "escaping" escapism! Maybe I'm "growing."
Therapist: Because you're old now... suddenly?
Mark: I told you I received my first Social Security check, didn't I?
Therapist: A single birthday doesn't push one over a "cliff."
Mark: Winter's aren't so bad here, just long... and a little dark. We've been snowshoeing "Red" several times a week. Why not just stay here? It's cheaper. I swear, It would help if we could sell a house.
Therapist: How's the snow up there? God, I haven't been out once this year; it's been crazy. Winter is my busy season, you know.
Mark: Well, in your business one must "make hay" while the sun doesn't shine."
Therapist: I suppose... lots of alcohol abuse and domestic problems during winter in mountain towns. But back to you. So why are you feeling old? Is that an excuse, or would you really be content to stick out the rest of winter here when you could be traveling Arizona in your RV?
Mark: Yes. No. I don't know... We've wintered in Arizona so many times now I feel like we've "been there and done that." It doesn't feel like an "escape" anymore... just old and tired like me. If I could snowshoe "Red" a few times a week, maybe go snowboarding once in a while, on nice days and when my back allowed for it, maybe watch some football... I could make it till...
Therapist: February... the Super Bowl is the first week in February. Then it's all basketball, baby, and I know you would rather play basketball than watch it on TV... just like you'd rather run than walk. But let's talk reality. First, you shouldn't be snowboarding. Second, there are months of winter to come after the Super Bowl, Mark, grey days... storm after storm... wind. Wouldn't you rather be riding a mountain bike in Arizona, or hiking the desert rather than waiting out winter around here?
Mark: It doesn't sound as exciting as it used to. I feel like I'm on more of an adventure here, snowshoeing "Red." It's so... so... magnificent, edgy, difficult; it's intoxicating... dramatic...
Therapist: Dangerous? Risky?
Mark: Sure, that's part of it. I feel like I've done something "young." Hiking an easy trail that I've already hiked a million times, in a place I've already camped before, in a place I know like the back of my hand... does not have me on the edge of my seat this year. I honestly think I would be more stimulated and challenged here, especially if I break out a new snowboard, or finally get those backcountry skis we've been putting off for years. Then we could go farther... or is it "further?"
Therapist: Why are you here? Do you want me to tell you what to do? If it were me, I would leave here in a heartbeat if I could afford to get away from doing this shit... no offense... and escape to the opposite of "this," wear shorts, play golf, and not return till the grass is green again on this side of the fence.
Mark: I suppose. But that's because you've never done that before... it's something new and different. I need something new, someplace different.
Therapist: Truth Time. Ready?
Mark: No, but go ahead.
Therapist: Ok. Mark, you are a jaded adrenaline junkie who has difficulty appreciating the "Nows" that avail themselves to your feet. You think you can only be happy when you are "high" on something. Well let me tell you "something!" Everything is relative... if you never "come down," the "high" goes away! You are losing the ability to feel comfortable with "normal." You just want to stay "strung out!"
Mark: But...
Therapist: Sorry for all the drug metaphors, but it is a drug problem you have! You are strung out on the effects of a lifetime of adrenaline/serotonin, adrenaline/serotonin, such that when you don't have a "fix," uh, uh, a game, a hill, a mountain... uh, new territory or a "floozie" to give you an "orgasm," you can't feel happiness!
Mark, you can't confuse happiness with the effects of "drugs" induced from cliffs and crevasses and new territory. Try to seek out new lows, that's right, lows of calmness. It will help you regain perspective, and once again feel the highs of regular things... like freedom, something which you seem to be wanting to throw away, something most people I know would die to have more of... including your's truly. I want you to think about that, and we'll talk again in two weeks.
Mark: I'm sorry, I can't make that appointment. I guess I'll be in Arizona.
Below is a very short video clip of a robin. Bobbie has noticed more and more robins wintering over around here. Looking for excitement, maybe... "new territory." :))
Just do what makes you happy. No explanations, exuses or apologies.
ReplyDelete-scamp
In your next life you can be a great therapist! You have really captured the essence of living life 'on the edge.' Finding balance is not desired by everyone. Hence, the goal of following your own path seems much more acceptable. If you need a little more excitement in your life I am sure it will find you. Fun post for sure!
ReplyDeleteNew and exciting Mexico is calling!!!
ReplyDeleteIt's a tough call. Actually I don't "mind" snow, especially if everything is all white and bright and crispy like. Helps on the light deficiency end of things too.
ReplyDeleteIt's the shovelling that I quite often take exception to.
But hey, if I don't have to go out....
plus my shop is nicely heated.
Change is a constant. We all change. I'm not who I was 40 years ago -- let alone 11 years ago when I started nomadic travel. You are allowed to change. Enjoying Life is a Matter of Balance.
ReplyDeleteClean snow is beautiful, I have that here. Short days are tiresome, you have more sun that I do. I'll still bail and go south. Question: Have you ever tried Northern Florida? For an outdoor person it is pretty amazing. Gorgeous hiking (well not Colorado hiking but still beautiful in its own way). A bazillion springs to swim and rivers to kayak. Bikeways along beaches and through refuges and under ancient live oaks. I have a young soil scientist who worked for me, a runner, she moved there and loves it. Not sure if you have tried it, but you just might if you haven't. I can't even begin to imagine your blog and photos if you did. I love it, so this is a very selfish suggestion.
ReplyDeleteAh, pen pal, I've often thought I could fulfill that therapist role for you, but look here, you've done it all by yourself. I think you have really hit it on the head with this one. :-)
ReplyDeleteAdvice? Stay. See what you find this time around and don't run from it. Sometimes I tire of you running and dodging your truths since you sling them in our faces and want comments. I can only imagine how you feel doing the same. Lose the "junky" and see what wisdom grows, huh? Good luck with it!
Susan here. Fire that dumb @ss therapist! That bill would've covered an annual pass at the Sonoran Desert Museum PLUS a couple of meals at the Pizza place over the pass PLUS a week at Gilbert Ray. OR a month of camping at Organ Pipe PLUS a couple of bike tubes needed to get into Quitobaquito Springs to see the crusty saguaros. Yea gads Mark, that bill would've covered a heck of a lotta IPAs.
ReplyDeleteMaikel here. Only 2 personalities? I know damn well I've seen 4 personalities on the trails with you.
ReplyDeleteI think the shrink is right.
ReplyDeleteUm, I think I know exactly what you & Mr. Therapist guy are talking about:))
ReplyDeleteMultiple personalities?? Who would have thunk it??? Blessed to have choices with that HUGE monthly check! Another Florida suggestion! Also - what about that country just to the north- Canada can be fun if you can pay 12 dollars for six pack-6 dollar gallon(4 liters) gas and speak French-bonjour-Enjoy your choices-
ReplyDeleteI don't think there is anything wrong, it appears that you are doing what you enjoy. Maybe not for everybody, but then everyone is different.
ReplyDeleteJust go with the flow and do what feels good. Nothing like new adventures.
escapist? uh uh. That, I believe is the tag hung on those who Pursue Life, by those who are afraid to. When they repeat it often enough it starts to sound like reality. Only, it is just the accepted perversion of reality.
ReplyDeleteEscapist nope... adrenaline junky... probably! ;)
I get the Arizona "been there done that" thing thought... It's easy to trade one "treadmill" for another; Climb out of one rut only to step off into another.
The trick I think is to come to recognize the ruts and treadmills... kinda like recognizing the hot stove SO you DON'T put your hand on it.
Your "therapist" is pretty good... but... what might be mistaken for adrenaline addiction... might could be simply a Refusal to get trapped in complacency... and the Reality of a person actually squeezing every drop of life out of this life that is possible. The action of putting words into action.
Many SAY the are going to do that... Few actually DO! You my friend are a pathfinder for the Doing of it! ;)
I think this may be my favorite post yet, maybe because it hits so close to home. When you get to the bottom of this "escape syndrome," please post the antidote here, like one of those fire emergency boxes -- "In case of emergency, break glass!"
ReplyDeleteSuzanne -- presently escaping in San Miguel de Allende, MX
When/if you get it figured out, maybe you could sell the answer to all of the other wandering souls out here.
ReplyDeleteThat therapist was on to something. It's a rare and peculiar problem. You've had too much fun. Your fun tolerance is just way high now. Might be time to pursue something totally new.
ReplyDeleteHave you tried watersports? Kiteboarding is awesome, a lot easier than it looks and the wind is free once you get your gear, you get to spend the winter in Baja, spring and summer up and down the west coast or in the Columbia River Gorge and drink and party with a lot with maniacally and intensely cool people at the end of every day.
Hey gang... been busy around The Crevice. I appreciate your patience :)
ReplyDeletescamps,
You make it look so easy...
K Explores
I hope you are right cause I need a full time therapist and it would be cheaper to analyze myself :) I will gravitate toward "excitement." That you can count on. Thanks
Comitan,
I hear that... Mexico used to be on my list of Cheap Places To Retire. But with things the way they are now, not so sure. I don't want to be limited to certain "safe areas," I need to ramble at will and not sure that's a good idea nowadays. That and I like diversity of weather... all four seasons. Thanks :)
Bob,
Yeah, it's kinda yucky when snow begins to melt. Your shop sounds like a good place to hang when it's cold... I need a "shop."
Wandrin'
I must "change" or else I get bored with myself, too. :) You seem to keep the "balance" as good as Scamps... they are down near you right now you know... some good people you need to meet :)
Sue,
Northern Florida, eh? Well, I was stationed in Gulfport Miss. back in the old Navy days... made it over to Pensacola a few times... nice fine white sand beaches and bikinis... er, I digress :)) Florida would be a stretch, tho. On the one hand, we'd have good weather and a beach nearby, but on the other, at what cost? Gas to get there... then no mountains. I'd be in Divorce Court.
Claudia,
I am a very self reliant person :))
I like desert bars... a little bit of everything, then pay for it later. I'm counting on you guys getting some RV friendly property up in the Pacific Northwest... Pref. Washington :))
Susan,
Yikes! I get your point... Pull Head Out of Place Where Sun Doesn't Shine and Smell Roses. Got it.
Maikel,
Shhhh. They will lock me up :))
Gaelyn,
thanks... I do To. :))
Bayfield Al,
I think we share some common demons...
Thanks :)
Walden Steve,
Huge monthly check????
Florida swap someday, I promise.
Geo and Suz,
Thanks... I will float with "the river."
Brian,
You get me. Thanks.
Suzanne,
I'm pleased it resonated with you. I like the "fire extinguisher" idea :)). Enjoy your Mexico adventure.
Teri,
The answer, my friend, is blown' in the wind...
Bayrider,
A new sport sounds like a great idea... except for the gear expense. I wonder if I could learn to Kite Board at this advanced age??? I already know how to drink and hang out with "maniacally, intensely cool people." so I got it half licked :)
thanks, mark