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Monday, October 22, 2012

Goldie Falls In Love With T Rex, and Fool Me Once, Fool Me Twice


And who could blame her, just look at the body on that masculine hunk... and the size of his, uh, gas tank. Got to be on steroids.
So this puts some of our "RV Adventures" in perspective. Yes, it's all relative, I know, this isn't Africa. But wouldn't it be nice to know you could go there... on "safari," amongst elephants, lions, giraffes and wild hyenas... in a rig like that? Wonder what it costs to ship T Rex overseas?


You can check out "Hans and Gretel" here. It will help if you read Austrian, or some "Der" type language... otherwise you'll need a translation.   




As you can see, the world is their playground. 



Meanwhile, back to lesser "adventures" of the less rich and infamous in Moab(sigh)

We walked Main Street end to end, got a little dry cause it was 78 degrees in the shade... 102 in the sun. Well, of course, It was Sun-day, after all. 

We were feeling tired and sore from our bike ride the day before, and needed a place to get out of the intense high desert heat lamp, maybe watch a little football... a couple beer's worth, anyway. The aroma of burning meat led us to Eddie Mc Stiff's. 





We had a seat at the bar, in front of the Pats/Jets game, and ordered Pale Ale's from the tap (Ahhhh, screw Africa, I like it here). I struck up a conversation with a pleasant lady in a red paisley blouse, presumably Ms Mc Stiff, and learned something that we did not know about the convoluted and ridiculous laws Utah has when it comes to beverages with alcohol. It happened toward the bottom of my glass, when I wasn't feeling the usual "buzz." 

Come to find out, I was drinking three two (3.2% alcohol) beer. What? From the tap??? But.... 

You see, Brew Pubs in Utah are not allowed brew adult beverages above 3.2 percent, unless they put it in a bottle. All these years, I've been poisoning my body at Mc Stiff's and the Moab Brewery, not to mention a dozen other places across the Red Rock state, with piss-water. Listen on, my dear friends...

"Yes... you could put it that way."

But wait a minute here, don't you serve IPA's with high alcohol content, and wine, and mixed drinks?

"Yes."

So why can't you brew and sell the same IPA's from the tap?

"Well it's a Mormon thing... like, we have no liquor stores in Utah. You have to buy beer and wine and such at a State Store. But they won't sell you cold beer unless it's 3.2 percent." 

So if after a long day in the ditch, if I want real beer I have to buy it warm, take it home, and wait for it to get cold?

"Yes."

That's inhumane! And let me get this straight, you can't brew real five to eight percent beer and serve it on tap, but you can sell it in bottles... and you can serve me a Scotch, straight up, or wine?

"Yes."

What if you promised the State you'd serve the five percent stuff warm?

"I don't think so, (chuckle)."

Well then, this has been enlightening.  I'll have another IPA, this time in a bottle... preferably six percent alcohol, the higher, the better... and a gimme a Veggie Burger, please... with bacon on it. I'm making a statement here.

"You wouldn't make a very good Mormon."

I know... I don't like rules that are stupid.,




17 comments:

  1. As in politics, drinking beer requires a "well-informed" consumer. Lovely pics...especially the last one! Cheers.
    MOAB

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  2. As cool as that rig is, I'm not sure I'd like living in something that looks like a garbage truck.

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  3. Oregon also has state liquor stores. You can buy wine and beer (cold!) at the grocery store but anything stronger has to come from the state liquor store...usually conveniently located right next door to the grocery store. I have no idea what our brew pub laws are.

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  4. well when you mix politics and religion... uh... or is that politics and politics spelled with an "R"?... aw heck, I'll just step outside where the rules don't have to get filtered through a politicians pocket...

    ... and anyway... the Boss didn't turn wine into water did he? ;)

    guess we just need to do our chillin' with him! :)

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  5. That monster truck is awesome. Guess it's hard to get drunk in Utah.

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  6. Amen to not liking rules that are stupid. Are there any other kind of rules? (I don't like rules much in general.)

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  7. Oddly, we are very concerned about what people drink and what they do in their bedroom but Wall Street, not so much.

    Jim

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  8. RE: that odd looking RV. I saw something like that on the Travel Channel once. Ugly on the outside, but shockingly wonderful on the inside. All the comforts of home and very convenient when boondocking.

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  9. You should have stocked up in "Bland Junction"! Love those German (and Austrian RV's) I wonder what how many gallons per mile they get! There are always a few hanging 'round Moab.

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  10. Utah used to be a lot worse. Used to be the only way you could get into a real bar was to join as a "member" and they were like a prohibition speakeasy all hidden. They couldn't serve you at your table but had state stores in the restaurants where you would have to buy your wine/beer/liquor and then they would charge you for the glass and ice but you had to do the pouring. So this is an improvement, stupid as it is.

    Science has the last laugh - it shows even alcoholics have a longer average lifespan than teetotalers! And coffee is on the healthy list. ha!

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  11. As soon as we hit Utah, a friendly tradesman volunteered the info that, if we wanted to belly up for a cold one, we'd better do it in Arizona, just three miles down the road. I guess we looked like the types who would need that data.

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  12. Hold up, I'm seeing a rainbow flag on the front of McStiffs. Many a religious soul would like to see that outlawed, too.

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  13. Been there done that...I see nothings changed in 12 years! We're joined by a foursome of riders from Germany, boy were they pissed!

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  14. When leaving Wa. for Utah I am thankfull for the huge storage bins in my Winnebago..I make sure I have enough Obsidian Stout and Flat Tyre to make it through the huge sunlamps down there. 102!!!
    We are getting snow up here..
    Goldie has been "fixed" hasn't she?
    David

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  15. Fun stuff.
    "Garbage truck"? Maybe around where you live, not here.
    I think the truck is awesome.
    Um, and it's German. Not Austrian.
    Although it is a particular breed of German, kind of like the way a Texan is supposedly able to speak English.
    Then again, as with English, German sounds different depending on far north or south you are in the "realm".

    I will truly miss the availability of beer, wine and other assorted libations whenever we head back across the pond. Depending on what State or Province you stumble into, a feller just never knows if there's a drink to be had.
    Do I need a paper bag?

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  16. Moab...
    so you're saying it's my fault, "let the buyer beware," eh? I take beer way to seriously, to the point of being a beer snob. And I blame it on my nephews.

    Maria,
    But a very coooollll garbage truck :))

    Donna K,
    Real beer and wine are good enough for me. I don't know why anyone would even bother making 3.2 beer. Thanks for the Oregon perspective.

    CowBoy Brian,
    Don't get me started on "politics." Only two more weeks and we can put our guns back in our holsters.

    Gaelyn,
    I certainly wasn't making any progress drinking "pisswater." That second IPA real beer got me to my sweet spot, tho. :))

    Travel Bug,
    Only if you officially belong to the LDS church... then the list gets real long. :))

    JIm,
    Real funny... now get your tongue out of your cheek before you bite down on it :)))

    BJ,
    I saw that too. Like ultra modern Danish style interior. Home sweet home :) thanks

    Scamps,
    I'm betting that rig gets 4 mpg when off road. You gotta be rich, sorry.

    Tesaje,
    God, were there moonshiners in the hills too? I wonder if women can vote in Utah? I have to check that out as they seem to be dragging there feet on certain "freedoms." :)) Thanks for the info and for commenting.

    Lucky Ducks,
    Well, the eyes do get kind of bloodshot when you're on the road and having fun :)) thanks!

    John,
    I can understand Germans being pissed... what is life without beer? Happy Octoberfest... just not in Utah.

    Up River Dave,
    Flat Tyre? That's pretty darn close to copyright infringement :)) Cool take off on "Fat Tire," tho.
    I'd like to try some if you're buying (or bringing) :))
    And yes, Goldie had her "tubes" tied a long time ago. Ha!
    thanks for the humor.

    Bob,
    Thanks for clearing up the language issue... they all sound alike to me :)) Stay away from Utah and Arkansas... they have dry counties. BYOB Bob... so yes, bring a paper bag :))
    Thanks for commenting.

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  17. There are stupid liquor laws all over this fair land and not all of them were written by Mormons. Vermont is another State Store for liquor and they have damn few of them - plan well ahead.

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