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Sunday, September 30, 2012

Reality RV... Goldie Gets A Lazy Daze Makeover Update


In spite of the pitiful and obvious... that the ugly guy with a scabby knee and elbow (mountain bike crash, sigh) makes a piss poor Vanna White... here is the next Reality RV installment of, Goldie Get's A Makeover."  

So you are looking at a finished project... a brain-fart product, as multifunctional as a Swiss Army Knife, as handy as I am dandy, as practical and useful as your gol darned  appendix. It's my idea of a cool RV necessity... a cushioned bench/Psych lounge-chair/fold-out bed/storage bin/wine cellar, and, in a drug cartel pinch... hideout/coffin (lovely cushions, security lock and oxygen not included). Fan Fair, Please... Presenting, The Goldie Bench! Ta da!  

Watch closely as ugly "Vanna" demonstrates a new and improved version of a reinvented RV wheel accessory, one that you can do yourself in minutes... with a few simple tools (subject to experience, I Q, gender, and overall handiness; do not attempt this project if you have a heart condition, hemophilia, little experience with sharp spinning blades, or are prone to fall off your mountain bike.)


Now, it's a bench/Psyc lounge chair/quick nap thingy/secret hideout 
(You'll need to use your imagination on cushions as they are on order)

Ah, but it opens... it has a hinge!!! Just look at all that storage! AND, it has a secret passageway/exit! An escape hatch to dodge drug lord, police, and/or spouses!
 Eat your heart out Indiana Jones!!!!

And it's sturdy, too! Made of real wood!!!

Now watch as Ugly Vanna demonstrates an innovative technological break through... NOT ONE HINGE, BUT TWO!
Yes, a DOUBLE hinge allows you to expand the bench/Psyc lounge chair/quick nap thingy/secret hideout... 

into a twin sized bed! 
How about that! 

Voila!
From this...
To this... 
in just minutes 
with a few simple tools!


Ok... moving on, now. I have more improvement photos, and less infomercial lampooning...


I found a piece of decorative vent material at Lowes to cover the black hole of shower plumbing access... it was quicker than making a paneled door... like the other small one, above and left

Oh goodie... now I can finally lay some flooring.  But bolt heads intruded a little too high for my laminate. I thought I could get away with counter sinking the laminate, but NO, that would be too easy! I pulled up the carpet and discovered at least ten, maybe 12, bolts rearing their ugly heads. I did not want to lay a sub floor, so I tried to grind the heads down just a fraction with a metal grinder. Still too high. Arrrrgggghhhh! Off to Home Depot to get 3 sheets of three eighths inch plywood... and install (what I now consider to be an IQ test) cutting around a myriad of irregular intrusions... plus drilling holes in exactly the right places to accommodate bolt heads. Sheesh, I can tell you that in such a small confining space, trying to lay a jigsaw puzzle with such large pieces... without breaking a window, scratching paneling, having a stroke... is quite a heroic accomplishment... although, I might have suffered a little TIA when I had to pull up one piece no less than four times in order to re-trim it and make it fit :((    

You can see some of the bolt heads I had to accommodate in the above and below photos. Also, you can see that we found some blinds in the above photo. After looking at traditional blinds of all kinds, they just proved to be too expensive (would you believe 800 to 1000 dollars! for three freaking windows?)  This is a custom installation, too, so we were going to have to order them, and hope that they worked. Desperate. Finally we found some outdoor shades that were both attractive and inexpensive. Would they come in sizes to fit Goldie's windows? Hell no! But they were cheap, so we bought them and suffered through altering them... which meant cutting and sawing and re-sewing and hemming and cursing. But by God they're up!

Bolts, bolts, bolts...

Finally made it out of the rear lounge and working my way toward the cab. Oh, BTW, pulling the carpet was a bitch... mostly because some jackass got trigger happy tacking the pad in place, like millions of staples that each had to be pulled!!! Like, the pad is under the carpet, Bozo, where in the F**k do you think it's going to go!!!

Corners, corners, corners... notches, notches, notches... got to love 'em

Oh, and where to put all my tools as I work forward???? 

Blinds up! Whew.


So now... without further ado, interruption, bad luck, etc., etc.,
I lay flooring... every perimeter piece of which requires a customized cut and work of art.

I should, should being a relative and dysfunctionally optimistic term, finish the floor today.
That's the update, I hope you're having fun... I know I sure am :))


   

19 comments:

  1. Great job, looking good. Now get out and enjoy her soon.

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  2. Wow! Most excellent! We're feeling quite lazy these daze. Old Blue is very, very impressed with Goldie's makeover. PS We have determined that Old Blue is more of a sea green color-what to do? Scamps

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  3. Awesome job!! RV renovation could be the next big thing on HGTV. Lol. -Caleb

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  4. Looking good & I like the idea of using 'real wood'. You talented handy man carpenter fellers always make things look so easy.....but I know better. Only thing that comes easy for me is getting the lid off the peanut butter jar.

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  5. nice post,really like the job you are doing.i think you an bobby will be proud of it when done.maybe you will say with this rig after your personal touch.gary

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  6. Congrats on conquering the...floor. Nicely done.

    You will certainly have pride of ownership, there, "Vanna."

    Enjoy the fruits of your labor.

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  7. Looks great, Mark. We forgot to warn you about the floor bolts and staples. Everybody who pulls up the carpet to put down a different floor complains about those things. Just part of that great Lazy Daze construction.

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  8. Goldie is looking great. I almost came unhinged when I saw your bench. Very cleaver!

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  9. Great job, I was thinking of pulling up our carpeting. but may have changed my mind based on your experience!

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  10. Nice job on the RV, I can smell the wood. Watching the Denver Broncos 34 having their way against the Raiders 6 with 7 minutes to go. Go Manning!

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  11. I am curious about the double hinge. I have tried to do something like that on my front dinette seat for my large dog so I don't have to keep the table down but the overhanging piece still needs to be supported. What am I doing wrong?

    Thanks
    sgsmith

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  12. I have 2 dinettes in my RV and have decided to rip out the small one and make a narrow twin bed with a hinged platform to store stuff underneath. There is a lot of wasted space on that side of the RV right now and I need the storage. I'm hoping my son-in-law will do this for me when I get to Texas.

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  13. Claudia,
    Thanks, Pen Pal... We're on the cusp of enjoyment :))

    Scampers,
    I'm sure you will think of something...
    Maybe waiting till you can tour Goldie will help with some ideas. Old Blue and Goldie need to meet up anyway... Lookout :))

    Caleb,
    Hey, what a great Idea!! I could be a motorhome makeover star... and you could be my crew :))
    Thanks for stopping by, son. Love to you in Al-be-Que.

    Bayfield Al,
    Ha! So you're addicted to P B too!
    Thanks, but I'm sure we'll be watching your carpenter and project skills blossom once you get to your Casita in Congress. Can't wait.
    PS, love your header photo right now...
    thanks

    Gary Gee,
    Thanks, I hope they bury me in this rig, not soon, of course. I'd like to think we are done with RV experimentation :))

    Travel Bug,
    Thank you... I did finish the *&%*#@** floor. Very rich, if I do say so myself, so, yes... I am "proud."
    Thanks,

    Jim and Gayle,
    So you knew? Well, I'm glad you didn't tell me.What one doesn't know can't hurt them... till later :))
    I will say, having dismantled Goldie, that Lazy Daze are constructed better than any other RV I've had.

    Donna K,
    thank you, I love my use of two hinges. I thought of that in bed on night... had it all worked out... but I put it together wrong the next day. I had to unscrew every thing and start over, "Now how'd that go again?" Waiting on cushions now.

    KCgaz,
    Don't let my rant dissuade you... it's just another couple of hours. Carpet is so impractical in an RV... especially if you are boon dockers and mud trackers. thanks

    John Q,
    The cedar does smell good... I hope it stays that way.
    And thanks for rooting for Manning... he kicked butt yesterday, as did my Arizona Cardinals in Miami. four and O baby.

    Anon Smith,
    I'm not sure what you mean by "over hanging piece."
    It's not a big span, between dinette seats so I don't know why you would need extra support... unless you are trying to get Doggie out from under the table, maybe, which would be necessary for a large dog. In that case I can see where additional support would be needed, so try to imagine this solution...

    On the hinged piece of wood that bridges between the dinette seats under the table, add another hinged piece of wood large enough to fold down for Doggie. The least intrusive way to support the Doggie spot would be to have two sliding pieces of one inch by one inch angle iron that slides out in tracks screwed to the main piece of wood. Think of it as two drawer slides... they retract when not needed and are small enough to not be felt through the dinette cushion when eating, then extend to support Doggie's perch when needed. The tracks could be made out of wood, or metal... anything that is sturdy. I hope this gives you some ideas. Thanks for commenting.

    Teri,
    Great idea... that's what son-in-laws are for :))

    thanks everyone
    mark

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  14. Looks great. I like the two way bench cover. All those bolts are the reason that Lazy Daze do not fall apart. They are over built.
    Garth

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  15. This is an impressive work. You really had a clever bench there. I like the overall result of the makeover.

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  16. Garth,
    You are right about that... Goldie is solidly built.

    O S
    Gracious.

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  17. The re-model is looking good.I did chuckle about all the tacks holding the carpet down. I think 5% of the weight of an LD has to be fastners. Some say it's overkill, but then nothing comes apart after many years and miles.

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  18. Delta Mike,
    I guess when it comes to my RV... there is no such thing as being held together too good.
    thanks!!!

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  19. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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