Reality RV... Goldie Gets A Lazy Daze Makeover Update

In spite of the pitiful and obvious... that the ugly guy with a scabby knee and elbow (mountain bike crash, sigh) makes a piss poor Vanna White... here is the next Reality RV installment of, Goldie Get's A Makeover."  

So you are looking at a finished project... a brain-fart product, as multifunctional as a Swiss Army Knife, as handy as I am dandy, as practical and useful as your gol darned  appendix. It's my idea of a cool RV necessity... a cushioned bench/Psych lounge-chair/fold-out bed/storage bin/wine cellar, and, in a drug cartel pinch... hideout/coffin (lovely cushions, security lock and oxygen not included). Fan Fair, Please... Presenting, The Goldie Bench! Ta da!  

Watch closely as ugly "Vanna" demonstrates a new and improved version of a reinvented RV wheel accessory, one that you can do yourself in minutes... with a few simple tools (subject to experience, I Q, gender, and overall handiness; do not attempt this project if you have a heart condition, hemophilia, little experience with sharp spinning blades, or are prone to fall off your mountain bike.)

Now, it's a bench/Psyc lounge chair/quick nap thingy/secret hideout 
(You'll need to use your imagination on cushions as they are on order)

Ah, but it opens... it has a hinge!!! Just look at all that storage! AND, it has a secret passageway/exit! An escape hatch to dodge drug lord, police, and/or spouses!
 Eat your heart out Indiana Jones!!!!

And it's sturdy, too! Made of real wood!!!

Now watch as Ugly Vanna demonstrates an innovative technological break through... NOT ONE HINGE, BUT TWO!
Yes, a DOUBLE hinge allows you to expand the bench/Psyc lounge chair/quick nap thingy/secret hideout... 
into a twin sized bed! 
How about that! 

Voila!

From this...

To this... 
in just minutes 
with a few simple tools!

Ok... moving on, now. I have more improvement photos, and less infomercial lampooning...

I found a piece of decorative vent material at Lowes to cover the black hole of shower plumbing access... it was quicker than making a paneled door... like the other small one, above and left

Oh goodie... now I can finally lay some flooring.  But bolt heads intruded a little too high for my laminate. I thought I could get away with counter sinking the laminate, but NO, that would be too easy! I pulled up the carpet and discovered at least ten, maybe 12, bolts rearing their ugly heads. I did not want to lay a sub floor, so I tried to grind the heads down just a fraction with a metal grinder. Still too high. Arrrrgggghhhh! Off to Home Depot to get 3 sheets of three eighths inch plywood... and install (what I now consider to be an IQ test) cutting around a myriad of irregular intrusions... plus drilling holes in exactly the right places to accommodate bolt heads. Sheesh, I can tell you that in such a small confining space, trying to lay a jigsaw puzzle with such large pieces... without breaking a window, scratching paneling, having a stroke... is quite a heroic accomplishment... although, I might have suffered a little TIA when I had to pull up one piece no less than four times in order to re-trim it and make it fit :((    

You can see some of the bolt heads I had to accommodate in the above and below photos. Also, you can see that we found some blinds in the above photo. After looking at traditional blinds of all kinds, they just proved to be too expensive (would you believe 800 to 1000 dollars! for three freaking windows?)  This is a custom installation, too, so we were going to have to order them, and hope that they worked. Desperate. Finally we found some outdoor shades that were both attractive and inexpensive. Would they come in sizes to fit Goldie's windows? Hell no! But they were cheap, so we bought them and suffered through altering them... which meant cutting and sawing and re-sewing and hemming and cursing. But by God they're up!

Bolts, bolts, bolts...

Finally made it out of the rear lounge and working my way toward the cab. Oh, BTW, pulling the carpet was a bitch... mostly because some jackass got trigger happy tacking the pad in place, like millions of staples that each had to be pulled!!! Like, the pad is under the carpet, Bozo, where in the F**k do you think it's going to go!!!

Corners, corners, corners... notches, notches, notches... got to love 'em

Oh, and where to put all my tools as I work forward???? 

Blinds up! Whew.

So now... without further ado, interruption, bad luck, etc., etc.,
I lay flooring... every perimeter piece of which requires a customized cut and work of art.

I should, should being a relative and dysfunctionally optimistic term, finish the floor today.
That's the update, I hope you're having fun... I know I sure am :))