Let me begin by saying I don't like having the day's outdoor plan ruined by waking up to un-forecasted pouring-down rain. Jesus H. Christ, people… Intellicast, AccuWeather, Weather Underground—even NOAA, for crying out loud—I mean do they ever look out a freaking window? Call me, NOAA, and I'll look out my window so you can up your pitiful accuracy! Well, they should call people once in a while, ask them how bad they're botching the forecast.
Weatherman: "Uh, pardon this interruption sir, but this is NOAA calling… NOAA, you know, the people who tell you if it's going to rain… No, that was Noah, N-o-a-h, the guy who built the Ark. We're N-O-A-A, but it's pronounced the same so I understand the confusion. But anyway, could you look out your window and tell me what the weather's up to so we can verify our "Sunny to partly cloudy" forecast... It's what? Raining cats and dogs? Shit! Hey Fred, he says it raining cats and dogs in Ooo-ray. Yeah, I know. We need to tighten up a little in that neck of the woods, people are going camping and stuff."
How do people in western Oregon and Washington endure nine months of sketchy forecasts and weather when just one missed forecast pisses me off? What do they do up there where it rains all the time? Does everyone go to the mall or a movie when norwester's are on a roll? RAIN (and bugs as a result) is one of the overriding reasons I left Missouri way back in '76. It was both uncanny, as well as cruel and unusual punishment, how RAIN seemed to synchronize with weekends... how it turned best laid recreational plans into a moody, gray-skied, mud-up-to-the-ankles washout. Campgrounds and Park Headquarters in such soggy places should have Grief Counselors on staff.
I have nothing against rain if properly forewarned. I actually look forward to Colorado's monsoon season almost as much as I do the arrival of Ms Autumn (eye flutter). I love the excitement of booming thunderstorms and moist air smelling of ozone and pine, especially after June's 30 day sentence to unfettered sun, beating down with at most five percent humidity—dry enough have us shedding skin like Arizona rattlesnakes. At least the monsoons are predicable, clear skies in the morning, clouding up around noon, and a 50-50 chance of thunderstorms after 2 pm. But the monsoonal transition to fall has begun. Now it can rain day or night or both… it can even snow, and no matter what NOAA says it's going to do, it's probably going to do something else.
It might surprise you to learn that Colorado comes in at number 7 on a list of the 10 driest states. Yes, Colorful Colorado is an "Arid" state, in spite of all that fluffy white snow every winter and alpine green tundra all summer. What state would you guess as being the wettest? Hawaii? Oregon? Washington? Nope, not even close. Take a look:
|Rank||Average Precipitation ▼||State / Population|
|1.||59.15 inches||Louisiana / 4,533,372|
|2.||56.48 inches||Mississippi / 2,967,297|
|3.||56.00 inches||Alabama / 4,779,736|
|4.||54.73 inches||Florida / 18,801,310|
|5.||51.85 inches||Tennessee / 6,346,105|
|6.||50.33 inches||Hawaii / 1,360,301|
|7.||50.22 inches||Georgia / 9,687,653|
|8.||50.07 inches||Connecticut / 3,574,097|
|9.||49.96 inches||Rhode Island / 1,052,567|
|10.||49.72 inches||Arkansas / 2,915,918|
|11.||49.24 inches||South Carolina / 4,625,364|
|12.||48.42 inches||Massachusetts / 6,547,629|
|13.||48.02 inches||New Jersey / 8,791,894|
|14.||46.92 inches||North Carolina / 9,535,483|
|15.||46.27 inches||Kentucky / 4,339,367|
|16.||45.82 inches||Delaware / 897,934|
|17.||45.49 inches||Maine / 1,328,361|
|18.||44.84 inches||New Hampshire / 1,316,470|
|19.||44.36 inches||West Virginia / 1,852,994|
|20.||43.62 inches||Oregon / 3,831,074|
|21.||42.87 inches||New York / 19,378,102|
|22.||42.77 inches||Pennsylvania / 12,702,379|
|23.||42.76 inches||Virginia / 8,001,024|
|24.||42.70 inches||Maryland / 5,773,552|
|25.||42.58 inches||Vermont / 625,741|
|26.||42.52 inches||Missouri / 5,988,927|
|27.||42.17 inches||District of Columbia / 601,723|
|28.||41.86 inches||Indiana / 6,483,802|
|29.||39.24 inches||Ohio / 11,536,504|
|30.||38.67 inches||Washington / 6,724,540|
|31.||38.52 inches||Illinois / 12,830,632|
|32.||37.62 inches||Oklahoma / 3,751,351|
|33.||35.00 inches||Texas / 25,145,561|
|34.||34.50 inches||Iowa / 3,046,355|
|35.||33.11 inches||Wisconsin / 5,686,986|
|36.||32.79 inches||Michigan / 9,883,640|
|37.||32.43 inches||Kansas / 2,853,118|
|38.||29.03 inches||Alaska / 710,231|
|39.||28.61 inches||Minnesota / 5,303,925|
|40.||26.66 inches||Nebraska / 1,826,341|
|41.||22.97 inches||California / 37,253,956|
|42.||22.02 inches||South Dakota / 814,180|
|43.||18.59 inches||North Dakota / 672,591|
|44.||16.98 inches||Colorado / 5,029,196|
|45.||16.91 inches||Idaho / 1,567,582|
|46.||15.79 inches||Utah / 2,763,885|
|47.||14.92 inches||Montana / 989,415|
|48.||14.24 inches||New Mexico / 2,059,179|
|49.||13.23 inches||Wyoming / 563,626|
|50.||11.80 inches||Arizona / 6,392,017|
|51.||9.46 inches||Nevada / 2,700,551|
Nevada kinda surprises me as being the driest state; it has all those sky island mountains that suck moisture out of passing storms. Maybe it doesn't get to cash in as much on the annual monsoonal flow that comes mainly up through Arid-zona to Colorado.
So, instead of climbing a mountain this morning, as forecast we should be able to do, I'm in the Lazy Boy in front of the Imax Windows, typing up a blogpost for you. :(
Now, for the good news: After Monday, Monday (can't trust that day), Bobbie and I are officially off work till next May. Got us four new Trojan Deep Cycle T-145 RV batteries for Goldie (I'll get two more if I have to). Yeah, I blew it trying to save a buck at Walmart on those cheap Marine" batteries… an expensive lesson there, folk. Don't skimp in the RV Battery Department.
Till next time, Mark and Bobbie.
Now go take a hike, before it starts raining!