It turns me inside out to write this so I'll make this post short and to the point…
On the brink of surgery it was discovered that I had a small blood clot in my left calf muscle. It had been increasingly painful for the past five days and, having had a clot post back surgery in 2010, I had an uneasy hunch and went to the ER for a "scope." Test "positive." It seems once one has a clot they are forever a target for another. Part of the last one embolized to my lung, which is dangerous. This one was caught early enough…just approaching a vein large enough to carry it "North," tho one never knows.
Surgery is postponed a minimum of three months, could be as much as five or six, whenever I'm off blood thinners that will dissolve the clot. It pretty much changes how we wanted to spend the rest of this winter.
At this point I am still reeling from the improbable diagnosis, that when one has had a blood clot lightning can strike twice. Yet, on some level I'm lucky/thankful/aware that it could have been worse (my new mantra, apparently) and that I'm still around. I long ago put "death" in proper perspective and have no fear it. What I do have a fear of, tho, is living in a circumstance or situation that doesn't allow me to "Live" on my terms, which is with every thing I've got.
The downside...I must live with a hernia for a few more months, one that limits activity, detonates plans, and, for now, keeps me in Lovely Ouray against my will. I have become "one of them," those people I use to feel sorry for that got dealt a bad hand they didn't deserve.
The BCB may be sporadic; I just don't know for sure. I'm not good at putting on a cheery face. But I will, at least at home, for Bobbie. In the end, "woe is me" really, really, really, only makes situations like this worse.
In lieu of flowers…go flip off the Universe, then take a hike.
mark
Well, crap. The good and bad blended together is such a way you cannot tell what the hell it is. Unsolicited and often unfollowed advice from me, a stranger - enjoy what you can do and where you are vs.....everything else.
ReplyDeleteWell, crap. The good and bad blended together is such a way you cannot tell what the hell it is. Unsolicited and often unfollowed advice from me, a stranger - enjoy what you can do and where you are vs.....everything else.
ReplyDeleteWell bugger and crap put together. Bloody sorry to hear it especially as I'm sure you were planning some epic trip south with several hundred miles of biking and hiking thrown in. In 2012 we ended up being stuck for 6 months in San Diego due to a medical thing that I didn't really talk about on the blog. In the end we ended up enjoying many things in that city, but it can't deny the itch to move was continuously there. I guess it's good news that clot was caught before it migrated north, and in the end a few months is but a blimp in the big scheme of life. You'll be thundering down that mountain again before you know it! Nina
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear this, Mark. Time moves so much faster when you're older, as you've no doubt discovered. The next thing you know you'll be back out there. Maybe this is your book-writing or painting period.
ReplyDeleteWell that's a bummer...to put it lightly. I feel for you and appreciate the emotions you are going through. Wish you luck putting on a game face for the next few months.
ReplyDeleteMetamorphosis Lisa
Life sucks sometimes. I hope you find a way to find something positive about being sidelined for now. Know that you are extremely lucky to have gone and had the scan done and found the clot when you did.
ReplyDeleteI'm going to have to echo Nina's bugger and crap. Actually, I'd go with a little stronger language, but don't want to offend. Stout heart, this too will pass, eventually. I am so sorry you and Bobbie have had your plans so thoroughly upended.
ReplyDeleteWell, shoots. Looks like it's time to write a book, but what a bummer. Worse places to be stuck, though, and spring is closer than it was yesterday, right?
ReplyDeleteThis is a bummer! Life has a way of dealing out the crap stuff! Not sure what lesson has to be learned...good luck with that!
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear this. But it could have been worse and that outcome doesn't bear thinking about. I'm sure that given a while you'll find things to while away the waiting time, and we in the blog world maybe be on the recieving end of some interesting and amusing articles. All the best.
ReplyDeleteGood and bad, you're right. Glad you caught the clot before it moved too far north. But sorry to hear about your surgery being pushed back. A small price for a better future:) Hang in there!! Thinking of you:)
ReplyDeleteThere's a tremor in the force fella. Each way I turn... I run into warning, hardship and sadness. Family losses, the loss of canine and Equine friends more valuable to a person than the two legged sort... and personal hardship financial and physical.
ReplyDeleteI don't say this meaning to be or sound arrogant or simplistic... but... the real truths are often simple. Simple yet heart thumping hard. Anybody can run, climb, hike and do such things with an undamaged carcass. Anybody.
The challenge in life is not simply getting sweaty. It's in grabbing that red headed bastard that puts these trials in front of us and squeezing till his nuts fall off.
You don't have to win either. It's in the never saying "I quit" that victory is gained. It's in sitting on the top of the "Mountain"... all bloodied and lame... gasping for breath... and looking down at all those who turned back because; "It's just too hard." ... and being able to whisper to yourself... "I Never Quit."
Sorry to hear about the blood clot issue. Given time, I have confidence that all will work out okay. Best wishes to you.
ReplyDeleteNow what are supposed to do about the biking festival? Always thinking of yourself.
ReplyDeleteHang in there and drink more beer.
Jim
Well "frickety frack" and a dose of "don't be blue." Take life one day at a time and live it as you.
ReplyDelete"In lieu of flowers...go flip off the Universe, then take a hike." Great sentiment. For you, my friend, I shall do just that...with pleasure.
What a nasty thing to have invade your body. I'm sure you'll kick it with all you've got. Take care of you.
The good news is you are repairable, the bad news is you need a repair. However having been through several of these slowdowns, they are not setbacks, has every time given me time to learn new things and better prep myself for the future. Sort of a pause that refreshes if you will. Relax and have fun.
ReplyDeleteBummer.... thinking of you and perhaps you'll find a way to make lemonade out of lemons (blah, blah, blah..... lemons are still sour and make one pucker). Hang in there :-)
ReplyDeleteYikes Mark! You know...when you lifted Jim's bike off of him and got the hernia, you may have caught one of his leg clots too! Sending good thoughts to both you and Bobbie.
ReplyDeleteMark this is for Bobbie, Hi Bobbie, Mark needs to cut out the red meat, tuna or any fish ok, then 3 servings a day of veggies....and NO ALCOHOL.....and stay out of the HOT SPRINGS POOL...get him some Cod liver oil......and for the next month avoid prolong Sexual Activity. Mark has got to get to Europe and see those Churches before we all end up in one morning the lucky F&^%$#.
ReplyDeleteCan't begin to count the folks I' known with both problems and they are handled successfully by the medical profession.
Yo Mark, looks like the Universe wants you to get going on the France trip and it may not be a bad time to start on the "
Book". If your up in Grand Junction go into a big book store and look at what other writers have done
along this venue.
Mark you have been going like gang busters now for I don't know how long and being over 60 you need to take a big rest my friend, that's if you want to keep doing what it is you like doing.
Nothing like a good book to take your mind off the present moment and I know you've got two.
Now heal that body
Sonoma Co guy
Damn, Damn, Damn. I don't even feel up to reciting any platitudes. (probably a good thing!!) Sorry that the interrupter of all plans has continued to knock on your door. Hoping it will soon be in your rear view mirror. Take good care!
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear the latest Mark and Bobbie. I just got two more shots in the back yesterday, the 1st left my right leg useless. Just sitting here thinking, how can I hike and ride my bike? Ratz!!....So, I guess you have joined the club I wish I had no part of.Gotta keep smiling tho, we just have to..
ReplyDeleteI plan on hitting the closest hot spring and having a steak and baker..No greens here for sure...
Take care,
David
Well,f... That is truly an episode of the good, the bad and the ugly! (find, clot, hernia [assuming here]) you know what ol Clint would do here right? I suggest any of those choices, short of killing people. You certainly could make a movie! Increase, don't decrease your writing! A photography book? I'm with you for a short term tantrum, but then... throw the poncho over your shoulder and get on with it! You can do it dude.... I got all faith in ya!
ReplyDeleteMark. I rarely cuss. But now. Dam now I am pissed off!! This should not be!! But I know you will be back in form what ever it takes. All the best buddie. And your best advantage of course. Bobbie! Walden creek Rv steve
ReplyDeleteI guess we are once again reminded we are not the invincible young warriors we once thought we were. Bumps in the night our way do come. I understand your ' I'm not good at putting on a cheery face'. When it comes to blogging I think you & I are very honest with our feelings. Questions have to be answered as to what will I write or not write about. Decision of course is yours. I have always found writing, photography, & travel, therapeutic & therein my friend you may very well find some very positive answers for your future....Take care & all the best:)).
ReplyDeleteBad news dude. I still think mean reversion and the overdue good luck it brings will be coming your way. Maybe the Broncos can use you as a pre-game motivation....."Let's go out and win one for the BCB'er!"
ReplyDeletebummer, Mark ... lovely Ouray is so lovely and your Bobbie ... two beautiful constants in your life that you can count on to make you smile. I try to find the constants and go from there. So, far ... I haven't found a constant... so, at least I'm on quest and I guess that could be considered a constant... lol?
ReplyDeleteCONGRATULATIONS! for being named one of the top 50 RV blogs! I agree!
Deletehttp://www.floridaoutdoorsrv.com/top-50-rv-lifestyle-blogs/
How did you know that? :))
Deletemark
That stinks! Sorry to hear the news. I hope you're feeling well sooner rather than later and can find pleasant (easy) pastimes while you're stuck in your situation
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear about the clot. Hope to see you back on the road soon.
ReplyDeleteBest of luck.
Man, what a kick in the gut. I remember how much you were looking forward to a winter of southwestern adventures. Along with the other good suggestions above on how to spend your "down" time, I recommend getting in a little keyboard playing. Put that sucker in front of the Imax window and let the soaring mountains coax some music of the spheres out of you. All the best to you and Bobbie.
ReplyDeleteJust a bump in the road, soon enough you will be better and forget about this bump. Have faith :)
ReplyDeleteTo all who left thoughtful, encouraging comments…They are deeply appreciated. I will take your advice.
ReplyDeleteThe initial dust is settling and it is what it is. Dwelling on it is counterproductive, this I know well from past "land mines." I will be posting occasional updates…and of course, photos of past wanderings.
Love to all,
mark and bobbie
Mark, I feel your pain. I love reading your blog because of your thirst to live an active life on your terms. I am a lot like that and ten years ago went through the same thing. One blood clot DVT that put me in the hospital for a week on heparin to dissolve it, very scary. A year on blood thinners then a recurrence six months after getting off it in the same spot. Thank God that I recognized the symptoms early that time.
ReplyDeleteI have been on thinners ever since at the ripe old age of 56 now, ha!
The good news and word of encouragement for you is that it's no big deal. I am as active as ever and it hasn't slowed me down a bit. In fact it has made me more cautious of what I eat and motivates me to keep healthy.
I am sure you will do the same. You will come back stronger than ever because I can tell that's your mindset.
Looking forward to your future posts and overcoming this little bump in the road.
G
Thanks, G, that is my intention. Might have to cut back on the wild ass mountain biking descents a tad, but most of my outdoor addictions shall remain unaffected. Right now, it's living with this hernia that's slowing me down. Thanks for sharing your story.
Deletemark
I had my pre-op appointment yesterday for my esophageal ablation in February and has we were discussing the possible aftereffects I said, "Well, it sure beats the hell out of getting cancer!" Glad they found that clot, as I learned from my shoulder keeping me from kayaking last year you'll get back to what you want to do eventually and it's okay if you don't put on a cheery face for awhile, we still like you anyway!
ReplyDelete