“Play is the highest form of research.” Albert Einstein
"Life is good...it says so on my ball cap." mej

Header Photo: Bobbie, putting the finishing touches on one of our many backyard 13ers.

Sunday, January 12, 2014

One More Thing Before I Go...


I just deleted the "whole story;" couldn't bring myself to subject you to all the details of my ordeal at Doc Holiday's office…some funny, some not so much. Surgery is scheduled for the 22nd. I'll be there, even after the uneasy experience of being forced to surrender my inalienable rights to sue. Those "please release me" from liability forms? No signature, no surgery. 


So I signed page after page of "Release of Liability" paperwork in preparation for admittance to the hospital. I found it a quite depressing and scary experience; Steven King's imagery is "Poo Bear Goes To the Park" compared to the nightmarish Legalese on those release forms. 

Holy fucking Fortuity, Batman, is it really necessary to spell out in graphic detail all of the things that's ever gone horribly wrong during simple "procedures." Where's my will and testament; I need to put my affairs in order. Dear God have mercy, the list is so exhaustive even Superman would bail. I thought for a while about keeping my hernia, spending the rest of my precious years sitting in a Lazy Boy. I could finally become a fat as Truman Copote serial novelist…or make and sell postcards out of all my photos...put a little note on back that says, "Made by a bedridden man with an inoperable hernia in Lovely Ouray." 

Since reading and signing all those Release forms it will be a miracle if I wake up, and a double play miracle if I'n not a vegetable. I feel like crying; I want my mommy. Problem is, she died shortly after surgery for a broken hip…a broken hip! 

You want information from terrorists? Make em read and sign hospital Release of Liability forms, and then threaten them with surgery!   


















44 comments:

  1. I'm not sure that scaring the bejusus out of you is the right way to get you ready for surgery. But just in case....you have great photos for postcards.

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    1. klb
      right now? I'm just trying every distraction available…including IPA's and Dr Phil (sigh)

      Delete
  2. Don't you know that you shouldn't read all that stuff. Way too scary!

    Sending good wishes and positive fibes your way on your up coming surgery.

    Thanks for the rock photos:)

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    1. Gracious Amigos…I know you love red rocks :))

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  3. Aw who do you think you are kidding? You will probably be up to your old tricks -- overdoing it on the trails -- two weeks after the operation!

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  4. good lord, Mark! that is really something... my husband went into the Doctor's office where they lasered his hernia away ... I brought him home ... had instructions on the ice pack or was it the heat pack, no ice pack ... a prescription ... he slept and ate and walked and off work for two weeks... he was 66 and this hernia was bulging ... he didn't want to go have it taken care of.

    We honestly thought this bulging hernia was waaaay more of a problem than the doctor did. We were both amazed at the noninvasive surgery these days.... just a small slit. amazing ... this was a couple of years ago.

    I'm sure as young and as healthy and in as good of shape as you are ... it should whiz on by ... ha! easy for me to say... hope you're in and out and ready to freddy before you can conjure an ouch... ;)

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    1. Interesting…but a "small slit" in my abdomen is not "Non Invasive" surgery :(

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  5. Good Luck with your surgery. Beautiful pictures.

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    1. Thanks Janet, you must be new to the BCB...

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  6. Thank goodness the photos are post card worthy. ;)

    You'll be fine. They're just covering their asses.

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    Replies
    1. It's not their asses I'm worried about tho...

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  7. Mark it's all in your mind....change your thinking change your life...right, you have read that before I hope.
    Now I see you have been holding out on us, guess all the above pic's you've got stashed for that BOOK I hope that will be in your future....god there were some beauties, just wish I had been standing there to view those scenes.
    Our 9er's are going to the Super Bowl, the Steel Head are running in the Russian and the surf is up at the coast and I've got the Ouray & Telluride web cams on live continuous feed so not complaining on this end.
    Stay thirsty my friend
    Sonoma Co guy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sorry I missed your comment…
      I do hope your 49ers beat Seattle!. Then I hope the Broncos Beat you guys in the Super Bowl :))
      Sorry, but all's fair in love and war!!!
      mark

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  8. Fantastic images, Mark! I do hope you survive your surgery so you can make more! ;-)
    Bob

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  9. Hey Mark, all the best with that Hernia happiness eh..........And as usual ya have some mighty fine photos there:))

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Al…I'd rather be down in Aridzona where you are, but soon, maybe, soon.

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  10. The good thing is you can still sue if something goes wrong, you know;) The consent forms are just a formality.

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    Replies
    1. Oh…I'll pass that info along to widow Bobbie :((
      You have a sic sense of humor, guys...

      Delete
  11. Ah, you'll be fine. I wonder how all those lawsuits are filed if everyone has to sign the release of liability papers? Perhaps they are not as ironclad as they appear - who knows. But anyway, you will be fine so you won't need to worry about suing.

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  12. You had better get better...I got my needle in the back two weeks ago..I just signed everything..There really isn't much of a choice...Ya sure sit in your Lazy Girl..That would last about 30 minutes.....I'm checking the maps and campgrounds South of Wa. towards Death Valley..I just might make it to "The ORGEE"
    David

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    Replies
    1. I've had those steroid shots in the spine…not fun. get the rv loaded.

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  13. Well, if you're going into Montrose Memorial, you better have your will ready...

    (Just messin' with you...it'll be fine.)

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    1. I know…I should be having this done in Grand Junction.

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  14. Been there done that... they put you to sleep and you either wake up or you don't. I woke up, and I was a new man. In case you don't wake up, Bobbie can go after the anesthesiologist who pays those really big malpractice premiums. Either way there are winners. ;))

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    Replies
    1. Win Win? Not if I'm dead. Bobbie will probably run off with the Anasthesiologist. good grief, I'm done for.

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  15. Thank goodness you have all those insanely gorgeous photos to refer to and tempt you as you recover from the surgery...which you will survive, completely!

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    1. Lisa,
      And I hope you are a psychic too :))

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  16. My upcoming ablation procedure for my esophagus has a possibility of developing esophageal stricture in 6% of patients. Here's hoping I'm in the 94%! Better than worrying about developing cancer. Good luck!

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    1. Pam, That sounds bad. Good luck with that.

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  17. GEESH!! Should we ask Bobbie which she prefers -- flowers, or a charitable contribution?? ;-) Good thing there were no such waivers required from Flying Monkey Mountain, or we would never have had the pleasure of such beautiful postcards! Just "words on a page"...I trust you will be back on the attack in no time!

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  18. Knowing you, you'll be back on your bike in front of the Imax window a couple days after surgery. Be good and you'll be hikin' and bikin' before you know it!

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  19. My gosh, I love the old car/truck and collapsed roof photo! The paddle-board photo is gorgeous!
    BTW, you will be fine! :-)

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    Replies
    1. Sheila,
      Thanks…that water was cold in the Paddleboard pic. Maybe he doesn't fall that much.
      mark

      Delete
  20. No "Release Form" can protect your doc from "Gross Negligence." "Ordinary negligence", maybe. These forms are meant to intimidate, and legally carry less weight than they appear to. An example: If a doc amputates the wrong leg... no "Release Form" can protect him from legal liability.

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  21. Well let's hope my doc doesn't amputate the wrong bump down under…Yikes! Maybe I should get out a Magic Marker...

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  22. What kind of camera do you use? Very nice pics!!

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  23. Hey, I have that same pic of Port Townsend, tho our MH is parked there, right by Doc's and the marina!

    Good luck & looking forward to the next chapter!

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  24. Hey, I have that same pic of Port Townsend, tho our MH is parked there, right by Doc's and the marina!

    Good luck & looking forward to the next chapter!

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